The PS4 Launch from the Perspective of a College Student

 In exactly a week, the PS4 will be out, which is a big deal for pretty much everyone. The Gamestop at my work stopped taking pre-orders in July, only 2 months after they had opened. If you don't have it pre-ordered, be prepared to do some terribly degrading things, the bulk of which while wearing very little clothes, in order to snag yourself a system. I got my reserve in the day after it was announced, and while most people are excited over the specs, games, "low" price, I've got my own reasoning for shelling out 400 bucks on the time-wasting super tech.

I play a good amount of video games. I have classmates who get in the 3-6 hours that our fourteen-year-old selves would have called a "light day". Compared to them, I'm a lightweight. Most of the time, I rarely play an hour before my brain feels like mush. To me, video games are a way to relax from the mental strain of writing, recording music, or doing homework. I'm not saying that that's how it should be for everybody who has reached the 20 mark, but it certainly seems to be how things have played out.

I still think I play more video games than I should, which made me question why I reserved this fantastic piece of technology in the first place. I have so many games already, it just didn't seem practical. Really, I'm excited for the online. I've got so many friends I've accumulated over the years switching over. Real friends too. 

It's really only online gamers that can grasp the concept of being friends with someone you've never met. With tools like Skype, Facebook, Google even, the argument that you don't really know them has gone out the window. In fact, people who make those arguments can go out of that same window (Just kidding, you're all fabulous). For me, gaming friends were the only people I could relate to as a kid (Though that was because my only interest was games... which is a bad thing. Nobody likes a one dimensional character). I'm starting to sound like one of the kids in Stand by Me, so I'll cut this off here. See you all the 15th!

People and Things That Have Defeated Superman (i.e. Why Superman Isn't O.P.)

For anyone who thinks Superman is cheap because he is too strong, here is a list of people who have defeated Superman WITHOUT the use of his most popular weakness, Kryptonite.

Doomsday - A truly invincible villain, not just ultra strong like Superman.

From Superman: Doomsday (2007)

Captain Marvel - A magical analogue of Superman. Superman is weak to magic, though not as severely as Kryptonite.

Art by Howard Porter 

Mr. Mxzptlk - Again, Magic.

-Superman's God Complex- (Superman, if you aren't aware, is a fascist. This has, on a few occasions, caused him to go into battle half-cocked... or however that expression is used.)

Lex Luthor (All-Star Superman) - A bit of a cheat, because Superman was dying from solar radiation poisoning, but when Lex Luthor gave himself Superman's powers in the final issue of All-Star Superman, he was able to incapacitate Superman, who, regardless of having what equates to Super-Cancer, had had years more practice with his powers than Luthor.

Art by Frank Quietly

The Yellow Sun (All-Star Superman) - A dastardly villain indeed, one that never bothered to let our favorite Kryptonian know that there was a limit to just how much of it's rays even he could soak in before it had a toxic effect. Seriously this series is so good.

Art by Frank Quietly

Jimmy Olsen (All-Star Superman) -Nearly killed Superman after turning into a Doomsday-esque monster. Reverted back before he gave the finishing blow

Art by Frank Quietly

Marriage - For about a year, give or take, Clark Kent had given up the mantle of Superman to focus on his career and marriage to Lois. This ended abruptly when the new "World's Finest" series, which depicted Clark using his powers to fix various technical issues around the Bat Cave, was cancelled before it was released... or for that matter announced. (I made the World's Finest part up)

Ultraman - An evil version of Superman. Just Google Superman Ultraman fights. The Final Crisis one was the coolest.

Art by Doug Mahnke (As far as I could tell)

Ratings Thirsty Comic Book Creators - By far the greatest villains Superman has ever known. When ratings are low, Superman is powerless against their tyranny.

Art by Dan Jurgens

Some of the artists of these pieces were difficult to verify through all the confusion of the internetz, so if anyone knows them, please comment and let me know.

Thank you!

New Video Out. A Defense of Broken Age and Tim Schafer!

Broken Age is a Kickstarter-funded video game that has recently come under fire for going over budget and, as a result, being delayed by almost two years! See my opinion on the matter here, and share yours!

J.K. Rowling Thinks Being Gay is Edgy... And Why That is So Far from OK

Before I start, yes, this is an incredibly old story. Like... Ancient Sumerian old... and if anyone has already heard the arguments I'm about to make, I apologize for the redundancy. When J.K. Rowling held a press conference in 2007, a few months after the the Harry Potter series had ended, just to announce that the wise and powerful mentor-figure Albus Dumbledore was gay, I had no idea what to think. I thought it was cool at first, especially since Dumbledore, whose past romances were never revealed in any of the books, didn't fit the stereotypical "gay" mold that society often associates with a homosexual man. He didn't wear pink, or prance around in that way most people assume gay people do, he didn't even wear shirt's with the top two buttons undone to expose his hairy man chest. He was just him. I didn't think much of the whole thing since then, but my overall opinion was that it was a good thing. After a long conversation with a friend of mine this morning, I'm taking back that opinion.

Before I go on I should mention that I have only seen the movie iterations of the story, and while I wouldn't call myself a super fan, I loved them and their stories. Also, I can get passionate about pretty much anything, so don't think that my opinions aren't coming from the heart.

My first problem with the announcement was that it was an announcement. This makes me suspect it was something she decided on out of the blue, then thought "Oh! I should make a big fuss about it, too!" Lady had seven books to at least hint at his sexuality, so if it was something that was important in crafting the character, I have a hard time believing she wouldn't have taken the opportunity. Even his with his apparent asexuality, she still could have made it clear that, at a time, he was in love, possibly through one of his more personal conversations with Harry (Instead she just told a bunch of people that he had a hubby once.) Maybe Voldemort could have killed him, or turned him. It would have added so much to Dumbledore as a character (Not that he was lacking in depth.)

My second issue was that it needed to be announced at all. There were so many tools Rowling could have used to hint at Dumbledore's romantic endeavors without ever stating them. He could have seen his beau through the mirror that shows your desires (Honestly... not a Potterhead by any means) Another character could have said something cryptic, or many characters could have made several cryptic remarks that, once the series ended, the Potterheads of the internet could have pieced together to realize Dumbledore's preference on their own.

Of course, a lot of this is assuming she had the idea in her head from the start, which I don't believe at all. I've seen people say that his dress style is evidence of Dumbledore's sexuality (He wears loud patterns and colors,) but that's very stereotypical and kind of ignorant. I honestly think this was a half-assed attempt by Rowling to appeal to her gay fans, as well as introduce an element to Dumbledore that is, sadly, considered "edgy" in the entertainment industry. Coming from someone who has pursued everything form the valley girl to the biceps-heavy Adonis, I think she failed on both ends. Next time, maybe Rowling should have her heart behind it.

Two New Songs Added to Youtube!

Many may wonder Why this blog is called Hip Hop Comic Blog. The answers to your questions lie in this link to my Youtube! Watch, share, enjoy!

"Game Of The Year" (Beat Used: Diamonds by Kanye West)

"Fight Fire with Fira" (Beat Used: Renegade by Jay-Z and Eminem)

There's a slew of even more coolness on my Youtube, and comments are encouraged, even if they're less than complimentary. Check it out!

Five Fictional Characters Who , Quite Literally, Were Too Cool For School

5.

Gohan - Dragon Ball Z

Though he eventually matured into a very well read adult, Gohan's formative years were spent avoiding study in favor of some good old-fashioned laser beam martial arts. This didn't sit well with his mother, the short tempered Chi-Chi, whose greatest wish was that her son grow up to be a scholar (Which is a bit ambitious to begin with... High School Algebra teacher may have been a more reachable goal.)   In a logical world, you couldn't help but feel for the woman. Defending the planet with laser beam martial arts, which is essentially  superheroing without the costume (Though he did that too), is by definition an incredibly dangerous hobby. It didn't help things that his father, a jobless exercise addict who presumedly supported the family on his tournament prize money, had died twice before his boy had even married. Thankfully, Gohan managed to grow to adulthood without a single mortuary experience under his belt. The same cannot be said, however, about his closest childhood friend.


4.

Finn - Adventure Time

When we are first introduced to the land of Ooo, the magical planet built over the ashes of our own Earth, no mention is made of any Oooian Public Education System. This makes the idea of Finn the Human, a 12-year-old adventurer and last of his race, seem peachy keene. What else is a kid supposed to do on a planet with no school? (And with no parents to speak of, he doesn't have the burden of any Chi-Chi like obstacles.) When the story picks up, however, we learn that one of Finn's friends, Princess Bubblegum, has an advanced scientific education. In that same episode, we also learn that schools, much like our own, do exist in Ooo, though they are assumedly not mandatory, as Finn doesn't understand a lick of the fancy talk these scholars throw at him. After about five minutes, Finn gives up on conventional education, preferring to study his Biology by smashing open the craniums of some baddies as opposed to through a book. Luckily, adventuring seems to be a viable, no degree required profession in Ooo, one that is far more glamorous, if not just as messy as a career at McDonald's.


3.

Red- Pokemon

A whole year before Ash Ketchum was dodging truancy, Red of Pallet Town set out on an adventure with nothing more than a Poliwhirl (pictured above) and a bag of futuristic animal traps called Poke Balls... And only about a 5th Grade understanding of the Liberal Arts. Seeing as Red managed to be far more successful than Ash in far less time, I've always had a theory that, when no one is around, Ash spends his time crying and verbally abusing his Pikachu, shouting things about how he'll never be as good a trainer and that Pikachu should just suck it up and evolve already. Maybe if Ash didn't release all his good Pokemon after a couple good battles, he and Red would be on more equal terms.

2.

Sora- Kingdom Hearts Series

Nowadays, the lead hero of the Final Fantasy/Disney crossover game is all grown up, but he's been hacking baddies for a while. Though he and his friends are never given ages, Sora first appeared looking undeniably pre-teen (Anywhere between 10 and 13) and therefore in need of some proper schooling. His earliest home we know of was Destiny Island, which had no educational system to speak of, but instead sported a beautiful beach where Sora and his friends could laze around all day, wasting their formative years and eating some sort of aphrodisiac love fruit. We also know that he only arrived here shortly before his first adventure, so God knows how long he's been living this truant lifestyle. The only book this kid is ever seen with is The 100 Acre Wood, and even then he doesn't even read the thing, he just sort of jumps inside to dick around with Whinnie the Pooh and his friends. That's worse than a book on tape!

1.

Goku- Dragon Ball/ Dragon Ball Z

It seems the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. This lifetime offender, who was even born on a planet where the only education was how to conquer planets, spent his whole lives (both of em) without even looking at a book. I'll give him some credit, as he didn't even know the concept of school until he was ten, but there's no excuse for not hopping on the education bandwagon once the tools were presented to him. At least his son eventually got with the program, where as this guy's only Astronomy lesson was traveling to other planets and astral planes. Sheesh!

Knack: Why the Cute, Simple Platformer is Still Relevant (To Me)

E3 was this week, and after seeing everything that Sony's new Playstation 4 system has to offer, there is a noticeable army of reasons, a large, threatening army in fact, to choose it over Microsoft's Xbox One when both systems are released this Winter. The one that swayed me personally is, incidentally, one that has gotten little hype from the blogs and gaming sites. Knack, SCE Japan's action-oriented platformer that looks to be aimed at the E10 to T market, looks to be a throwback (and boy do I feel old saying this) to the Jak and Daxter/Ratchet and Clank-style games that helped Playstation's second incarnation become so popular. While Knack has garnered some interest, mostly for being the only launch title of it's kind in a sea of military shooters, some more Victorian than others, I'm curious to see how it stacks up in what has become a very mature market.

As I said, I have a personal interest in Knack, or rather the young teen platformer genre as a whole. There's a tradition in my house, now about a decade old, that whenever a promising-looking platformer is released, my dad and I jump on the chance to buy it, then spend the next three months putting our heads together to beat it's various puzzles, bosses, and whatever else it wants to throw our way. One of us being a lawyer, and the other an overenthusiastic science fiction fan, there's very few projects that pique a mutual interest, this particular genre, though, is probably the biggest. It's a bonding thing, much in the same way that some dads help their sons build model ships, and with my dad having maybe a third a strand of gamer gene in his DNA, very few games make him say "When's the release date?"

My dad's barely touched the Xbox 360. I'd never deny that both Xbox systems have seen some amazing platformers, or games with platforming elements, but most had such complicated controls that, while a seasoned gamer like me could pick it up within a half hour, someone like my dad, who has only  played a handful of games in his life, would struggle with the logic the average gamer takes for granted. Assasin's Creed is a good example. He tried it as soon as I brought it home, but between the complicated combat system (which I've heard they improved) and the confusing (even to me) parkour controls, he dumped it after twenty minutes. That being said, Assasin's Creed is a fantastic game. Xbox makes fantastic games; Just nothing for my dad. I do mean my dad too, and while that may be the narrowest demographic short of one half of Composite Superman, it has cost Microsoft a customer, at least for now.

Happy Father's Day, Dad. I can't wait for Holiday 2013.

"You're Still Young": The Trump Card That Isn't Always True

        Though it we may share a hemisphere, South America and North America may as well be different worlds. If Canada is the ill fitting hat that the United States often forget it has on, then South America is our penis. One thing that always bothered me about our penis, which encompasses countries like Mexico, Brazil, and Columbia, is the stories of these crazy rats I always hear about. Apparently these things are almost the size of dogs, or if there was a dog that was the size of two normal dogs, it would be that... and like Beethoven dogs too, not like Paris Hilton-this-one-goes-with-my-purse dogs. Okay, I may be exaggerating. New York is probably the only area on U.S. soil with rats that even come close to rivaling these genetically modified dog-rat hybrid beats that could not have been made for any purpose short of Pokemon-style arena battles. South America is cray... Well, mostly cray.

     If you were to take a seven-year-old from Mexico and a seven-year-old from The States, and, hell, let's take a seven-year-old from China and two from South Africa... If you took these kids, with their boogers and their childish energy and their disparate cultures, you could almost guarantee that each had at least one thing in common: They think old people are smart.

    Now, chances are I have some sort of bias that I'm not fully aware of, being a young person myself, but it drives me crazy when a person uses age as rank. In the Dhammapada, the Buddha spoke about the correlation between age and wisdom. He said that age does not always make men wise because someone may have grown through ignorant means. While this is usually true in extreme circumstances, and experience usually comes just by living, no man can learn everything the world has to offer, the most challenging of these, for some reason, being tolerance.

   Now before I go any farther, I'd like to admit that I'm intolerant about a lot of things: James Franco as Allen Ginsberg, Starbucks drink sizes, James Franco just as an actor who actually somehow works. The list is nearly endless. I do know one older gentleman, however, who is intolerant to the point that, if he really wished, he could easily play the role of Carl Fredricksen in the live-action rendition of the film Up! He's not a bad guy, however. He's mostly socially progressive, so it's usually more ridiculous things than anything likely to offend or upset anyone. 

    Still, I wonder where the animosity comes from. Is it some kind of node that grows in one's brain after years of exposure to pessimistic viewpoints? I doubt that's it, as I already see friends my age taking on some "grumpy old guy" traits while I sit in the corner with my rainbow bandana on bobbing my head back and forth to "Take on Me" by 80's pop band A-Ha. 

People really should do studies on this crap. It may even lead to a cure for douchebaggery.

Peace out my little gustas!

- Fuju

The Internet: An Alien's Guide to the Human Race (YIKES!)

          A couple years ago, comedy sweetheart and amateur Circus strongman Jon Stewart wrote something that, should it be discovered by aliens centuries down the line, will be a perfect explanation of human history. It was called Earth: Everything An Alien Tourist Needs To Know About the Planet After Human Beings Are Gone, a title so long, it rivals the band names of most underground rock groups in pure syllabic content (See Sleepy Time Gorilla Museum.) The book did a fantastic job, and would be the perfect guide for any alien seeking to know what Earth was about, IF it was in fact the first and only book any alien may find. Imagine if they didn't find a book at all.
     
       Assuming, naturally, that the aliens in question are mentally evolved floating prisms with limited telekinesis, we would assume that they also possess some sort of reverse EMP ability capable of turning the lights back on long after they expired. These beings would then have access to the Internet....

OH! MY! GOD!

     After cycling through an archive of porn akin to a nekkid Tower of Babel, they would eventually find their way to the lost worlds of Tumblr and Twitter. To otherworldly visitors, the first of these would probably seem like the forum of a massive organized religion. Assuming they had no need for Gods, as floating thought-prisms tend not to, I can't help but think they would find it strange that sentient beings once worshipped both the Love Gods Ren and Stimpy AND the Trickster/War God masquerading as a healer. If they had a working knowledge of pantheons, they would have already seen this idea many times over (As we have in Greece, Egypt, etc.) , but as a new concept, it seems disorienting.

    Twitter would probably seem like an open journal written by... well... pretty much everyone. They would discern the people of influence from the lowly peons by number of followers, which would actually be pretty spot on. They may, however, wonder why those with the greatest followings seem to have the least to say about anything of worth. And that's just our celebrities!

   Facebook wouldn't be an issue, as 50-some-odd years prior to the fall of man, it will become sentient and fly off into the cosmos in search of a more advanced computer system to integrate with. By the time the aliens come, the Facebook program will be how they flush their toilets.

- Fuju

This Guy's Glory Days

        Today I've been piecing together a new song for the Youtubes, as well as studying for tests and how to be a grown up. I'm writing this post as a break from the madness. The song's theme, which is mostly all I've worked out beyond a few lyrics, is a tribute to the 90's and how it affected those who were just little sprouts at the time. I love Kurt Cobain, but I can't even remember if I knew who he was when I was 6 or 7 (My sister may have listened to him. I didn't quite know her very well beyond that she was taller than me.) But this song is about the things that were on my radar at the time, not what I found out I missed 10 years after (Sorry, Operation: Desert Storm.) I think it's important, at least to me, for that perspective to be represented.
   
        I got most of my news through cartoons, and by teenagedom had a surprisingly extensive knowledge of pop culture. I knew Einstein was like the top dog scientist (He was Dexter's Idol), the President played an instrument (thanks to Animaniacs and an inquiry to my parents as to who Bill

Zach Morris taught us drugs
are bad every weekday morning at 7 and 7:30

Clinton was), and it just got bigger from there. I watch kids' television now, and most of the stuff is just brain filler. Every TV show doesn't need to have a Socratic epiphany, but at least be creative (Google "Annoying Orange"... I dare you.)

      What was more important than learning lessons from television was, shockingly, learning lessons from learning. I grew up at the tail end of the days where parents didn't care just enough. For me, there were emotional blockades that didn't give me a lot of social time, or even many people to make any such time with (x didn't have many y's to = fun.) Regardless, I managed to skin my knee enough to learn a small fraction of the lessons most people learn by adolescence. Most importantly, I learned to spot a Doucheface McAssFlapper when I saw one. Still, I didn't get as many chances as others to learn how to identify every variety of asshole, and that's gonna come out in this song.

     In a way the 90's were better. I didn't know a lot about responsibility, so I didn't know enough to care. On the flip side, I had struggles on an astronomical scale, and just lacked the sense to comprehend them. It's sort of inverted now. I've tackled my major demons, so now I have time to sweat the small stuff. Still, with everything horrible, and I mean truly horrible, that happened with me then, I can't help but miss it whenever I see something I recognize from the decade. So if it's not the actual events, maybe I miss how I thought: The simple, cheery, yet utterly profound way that children, particularly children in my shoes, see things.

- Fuju

Lena Dunham: America's Quirky Ishtar with Better Hair

            The biggest trait my girlfriend I share, and what probably makes us such good friends, is that we love when weird things make us feel good. Big-eyed animals take up probably 80% of our Facebook messages. We also enjoy the handful of hipster cartoons that have popped up in recent years (Most of our shared TV time is spent between Adventure Time and Gravity Falls. Otherwise our tastes are on entirely different polarities.) In the past month, however, we’ve found ourselves trading our cartoon lederhosen for HBO’s Girls, a show that, while certainly weird, is built so much around realism that I had to convince myself it wasn’t some very well lit, high quality, Real House-Girls of New York Something-Ruther. There are also boobs. It’s really the perfect thing.

            If my unfinished garage apartment was the world, and my Playstation 3 every governing body therein, I would tell you that Lena Dunham, Girls’ writer, producer, lead and Disney chipmunk is the most important person in the world. My girlfriend and I treat our viewing sessions as rituals (We’re still working through the Season 1 DVD) and like to ingest copious amounts of alcohol to make the whole experience a little… sweeter. With the show’s legion of fans practically from the start, it’s not unlikely that other couples, groups, or creepy stalker dudes have similar rituals. There are times when I think Lena Dunham’s star is so big that she could be more akin to a being of worship, and I mean that in the Tiki / Small Black Statue with a Giant Dick sense, than a talented individual.

            Aside from being just adorable, Lena Dunham is probably the oldest young person I’ve ever heard speak. She has deeply thought out opinions on things like death and sex that other young people are too drunk to think about, and that older people are too old to care about. I can see all her interviews over the next ten years being collected into a 2035 Anthology of Philosophers. She’s got that kind of crazy, and she’s throwing it up all over us.

            While speaking about her grandmother to Rolling Stone, she gave some insight into the importance of work ethic: “How do we ever just sit around loafing if we’re just going to die? How can people take a life and just waste it?” Guys, Benjamin Franklin is back… and he got hot.

            One of Dunham’s definitive traits is her tendency to go buff when playing Hannah Horvath, the rather promiscuous lead in Girls. Critics of the show have called the nudity excessive. I say the same about their presence in any community of living humans. While Dunham herself has said the nudity is present for the purpose of making sex awkward, I believe it can be more enticing than she intends. I wouldn’t be surprised if Girls replaced Barry White as the baby-making ambience for some very small niche group of hipster lovebirds.

            Between the sexual, philosophical, and emotional influence Lena Dunham has on her fans (or maybe just me in particular) Girls is starting to seem more like a religion than a show. Or maybe it’s just good, and Dunham is just one of those Bob Dylan, Jack Kerouac artists with a mind for more than just making money off her product. Yes, I just compared a 26-year-old girl to Bob Dylan. Fuck you.

- Fuju